I asked Jessica how self-care isn’t selfish, and she said that actually it might be! Why not?! We are all worthy of having our needs met. We also need to be capable of modeling what it looks like take care of our needs and be thriving adults. Sometimes we need to actually be willing to parent ourselves. We would not allow our children to eat junk food all day long, yet we so often leave our needs to the very last and neglect our own nourishment. When we take care of ourselves we are better capable to manage the stress of our lives, we are more balanced, and healthy. Jessica taught me about how to be more mindful of ourselves so that we can establish more calm and more presence to our needs, and our families’ needs.
We also talked about how important it is to create good habits that allow us to be more present to our daily needs. Good habits establish neural connections that make it easier to lay a foundation of healthy behaviors so we don’t have to work so hard to keep up with necessary activities. Our habits and routines are what we become over time. A large door swings on a small hinge. Our habits compound to become our identity.
We all have bad habits, but it’s important not to beat ourselves up and compound the bad habits with a guilty conscience. We need to approach our habits without judgement, and see them as opportunities to learn. Jessica taught me how to visualize who I want to become to help me select the habits that need to change, and to be patient with myself to become what I envision. I can make that vision of myself into a practice, and then adapt my habits around that vision with faith in my capacity to grow.
I have been learning lately about his concept of not judging ourselves for the choices we make or the path we are on. We cannot know where we really are on our path toward progression. We may be struggling with a habit one day, but have a major breakthrough the next. Sometimes those struggles we endure are exactly what we needed to get us onto the path we are seeking! So, don’t assign judgment for your habits. Just work on the ones you want to change and give yourself grace!
Book Recommendations (click on the image):
Jessica Croker is a Registered Yoga Teacher and a Mindful Living Coach teaching well attended classes, seminars and workshops since 2013. She hosts a weekly podcast called “The Seedpod-cast” to teach and inspire women that self-care isn’t selfish and that when we put ourselves first we can actually think about ourselves less. Through her website, www.seedpod.yoga, she runs an interactive Unselfish Self-Care coaching program, helping people really internalize and apply her mindful approach to self-care. Jessica has been homeschooling her six children since the first one was born in 2000 and lives with her husband and children in Manassas, Virginia.
Time Stamps – Jump to Location:
[1:55] Jessica’s yoga practice, and why we need to take care of our bodies
[7:50] Selfish self-care
[8:43] Adulthood is being able to meet our own needs and parent ourselves
[11:03] How to develop mindfulness
[13:10] Simple meditation for being present
[16:55] Battling with our “shoulds”
[21:03] Our thoughts create our reality
[24:00] Healthy rituals and habits
[25:43] Jessica’s family morning routine
[29:43] Our naturally tendency to develop habits
[31:51] How to change ‘bad’ habits
[37:12] Visualization to guide your goals
[38:49] Life isn’t meant to be easy. Change requires self-discipline
[41:04] Our habits are the ‘little things’ that make up the big picture
[41:37] Book recommendations